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Kane
There are many Kanes. There have been many Kanes. You ask who Kane is? Some say that Kane is a man. But they are wrong. Kane is no ordinary Man. ''' '''Kane is the prophet, the guide and the father. It is known. Origin The origin of Kane is not certain and there are many theories. several popular theories are collected here: #Kane was a character in a video game. #kane was concieved at the love shack #Kane was a heavywaight wrestler who retired and decided to try out as a world leader. #Kane is a bannana in human form. #Kane is thought to have run a funeral service in Manchester according to Bismarck although photographic evidence is lacking. Kane is a copyright of EA games. © The truth Kane on Bravos Kane spent the the first year (real time) in a banana but was released for "reasons". Echo nabbed him and set him up in KS as the great leader returned with some orks to help keep him in power. Within 2 weeks Kane had lost contol fo 100% of Kanish territory after the nations of Bravos decided to work together to invade. Kane on Arsinos Kane is the leader of Kaneland and has been elected by himself to become president for life after being granted unlimited power in an election that swept Kane into power with 110% of the vote. Kane often makes regular comments on the biggest issues of the day and does not shy away from controversy. In Kanes own words "I tell it how I see it". Kanes ambitions on the map are not known for certain but betrayals and unprovoked attacks have made many other nations weary of trusting Kaneland too much. Kane is also the resident Agony Aunt , and for this is sometimes affectionately refered to as 'Aunt Kane' for his guidance through the millenia. Kane holds many titles and positions some of which are collected here: *President for life of Kaneland *Supreme commander of the armed forces *CEO of Kane Industries *Editor in Chief of Kaneland News corp *Head of NAMBLA. *Honouary president of the fascist friends society *Chancellor of Kanelands university *Agony Aunt being an exceptionally handsome and talented leader alone can be tiring and there was nobody who could relate to Kane's struggles. Some years into Arsinos Kane met Nigella and it was reportedly love at first site. Kane's words are rumoured to be : "The buns look at the size of them." Kane and Nigella never married but soon had a beautiful son together named kane jr after his father who ws born shortly after the 12th Toastervision. Sadly the stresses of ruling Kaneland and the constant Baking tours meant that Kane and Nigella didn't spend as much time with their son during his formative years as they would have liked and this may be why Jr went off the rails a bit and joined the machine cult. Nigella's oven could not bear to be empty for long and soon Kane and Nigella tried for a second child who when born was blessed with unsurpassed beauty. Named Kanegella as a split between the names Kane and Nigella kanegella would go onto be groomed as the eventual successor to Kane but alas it was not to be. Kane's relationship with his son was deteriating which was made worse when Kane set his sons marrage to Harry Styles of AAC. Sadly Styles was murdered in the marriage bed and jr went on the run. Kane reportedly disinherited jr after giving his control of Kaneland for a week to "learn some responsibility" which resulted in the loss of Kaneish mainland territory to the Stahl Empire. ---Stuff happens--- Eventually Jr and Kanegella are both killed in a disasterous Avengers mission. Devestated by the loss of his children and his country and the falling statu sof Kaneland as a world power Kane is rumoured to have become isolated and taken to eating cheesestrings in his palace late into the night. ----Stuff Happens---- After repeatedly trying to break up the UN and failing to get any compensation for a UN raid that destroyed the forests of Northern Kaneland Kane became bitter and twisted. Success in the Northrend Campaign and a mending of relations with Shaderia and Stahl federation helped revive Kanes fortunes and Kane personally snitched on the Machine God's campaign to invade Arsinos. After the untimely death of kane Jr and Kanegella Kane and Nigella had a thrid child nemed Kane Jr the second (usually referred to as KJ) ---Stuff Happens---- In the closing days of Arsinos Kane ordered the creation of a Kanish Ark to avoid reliance on the Socialist UN ark. In the chaotic final hours eye witnesses aboard Kaneforce 1 report that the leader began to glow yellow and became sealed within a yellow rubbery outer casing before vanishing from the world. It is not known if Nigella and Kane Jr the second made it to the Ark and some say that without Kane Nigella saw no reason to keep going and instead continues to walk the wastes or Arsinos supplying tasty treats to refugees while fighting deamons with an oven hardened baguette. Personal Life While originally rumoured to be gay Kane entered a long term relationship with Nigella Lawson, and they had 3 children together. While seen as an eccentric dictator on the world stage at home Kane is said to be a good family man and subscribes to traditional family values allthough he is open to trying new things such as helping marry Jr to Harry Styles. Kane is reported to be a big fan of Kanish whiskey and moisturiser cream to give his head a dazzling shine. Kane Pre-Arsinos Category:People Category:Living People Category:Badass Motherfucker